But He Will Get Their Vote!

Of course, by now, we've all heard or read the words spoken in May by Mitt(ens) at a fund raiser in Boca Raton, FL. He obviously has no understanding of what I would term "real" life or "real" people and he certainly has no respect for those of us who were not born with a silver spoon in our mouths. That's who he is and it certainly has not come as a shock to me... did I really think he liked or respected ME? (Yes, female - so no, he doesn't). The part that I find shocking is that MANY of the same people he denigrated will still vote for him.

I, of course, am the protagonist, the Super Hero, the Cool Kid in my own story of my own life. That story that we all have churning around in our heads just waiting for a moment to share our adventures with new friends (or old ones who may be kind enough to listen again). I am certain that there have been bits and pieces of my personal history that I have accidentally re-written - I think many of us do. But, for the most part, I think that my version is closer to true than most of the people I know, personally. I've made mistakes. I've been mean or petty. I am human and I am OK with new friends (or old ones) knowing that. But maybe I have just convinced myself that the story in my head is true through a wonderfully convincing way with words? And pictures?

Maybe.

However, I know, right this minute, where I am in life. I can look back and be appreciative of the times when I needed a helping hand and received one. I can be thankful that I do not need a helping hand right this minute, but appreciate the fact that it should be available if I DO need it in the future.

I can appreciate the fact that I am covered by health insurance that is paid for by the tax dollars of others and wish that it was better and wish that everyone had this option!

I can say that if Social Security is not available when I turn 65 (or is 67? I am so confused), I will probably be working until it is available, even if it's only part time, because I started my retirement plan very late.

I can say that I have made mistakes, but that I am OK with them.  Some of them were pretty stupid and some of them were very stupid, but they have all combined to bring me to this exact time and place and it's a pretty great place!

What I do not understand, however, is how it is possible to have NEVER worked - not a single day - and complain about government handouts. What I do not understand is a disabled person who has not worked in YEARS, drawing social security disability, and still complaining about those nasty people who 'suck off the government.' What I do not understand is a person who lives off those so-called "entitlements" who thinks it is wrong for others to live off those so-called "entitlements."

The hypocrisy of the American people is astounding.

I had someone on Facebook tell me recently that yes, she is on Medicaid, but that is better than Obamacare! What?!?!!?

I have a cousin who has a degenerative eye disease who has not worked in YEARS complaining about the "those lazies who suck off the government teat."

What the F*CK?!?!

Work and life and life and work have taken it's toll on me this week, even to the point of  putting me behind in my schoolwork. So I shall do school work this weekend and will hopefully have another 'blog post up soon!

Econ 101

I took macro and micro economics in the summer of 2008, back when I thought I was going to be an accountant when I grew up. After those classes and Accounting 101, I decided that my future was going to take a different path.* But I took those classes and I received A's in them. But they did not actually stick too closely (I purged them as soon as the classes were completed and grades were in!). So I have a couple of questions from those who may know/remember/understand these things better than I.

If I am a small business owner, is it not true that I will be paying taxes on my 'net' income and not my 'gross' income? (Provided of course that I do not ship any of my income to Switzerland or the Cayman Islands and pay taxes on everything that I should).  So if I get a nice little government aided start up loan and rent a building for a boutique, buy inventory, pay the bills, etc all with that start up loan (making the loan payments, of course) and at the end of the first year, after all bills are paid, I have a profit of $75,000 then that is all I have to pay taxes on, right? Am I correct so far?

So in Year 2, business picks up and I need to hire a cashier for the afternoons. $10/hour - 20 hours/week for some future fashionista after school. And my profit is $100K for that year, am I now allowed to take that almost $11K off the top of my profit? Instead of paying taxes on the $100K that I made (after paying rent, untilities, loan payment, merchandisers), is it not correct that I would pay taxes on just over $89K? BECAUSE AN EMPLOYEE IS A TAXABLE DEDUCTION?

Looking at it even closer, that employee is going to cost me more than the $11K in salary, are they not? Medicare and social security matching? Unemployment insurance and Workers Compensation? So wouldn't it be closer to the truth to say that I would be able to deduct maybe $15K for that ONE employee?

So whether my tax rate is 20%, 50%, or 90% I am not paying taxes on the salaries and benefits that my employees are receiving?

I know that this is simplistic and I know that there are other factors and facts involved, but I am trying to ensure that I have an actual grasp on this subject before I make an ass of myself!

And if you stop by and do not leave a comment explaining why I am wrong, my reputation as an ass will be your fault!

*I have great respect for accountants, because they got through all of those boring classes. Of course they would probably shudder at my adoration of classes like "Beauracy - The 4th Branch" also. It takes all kinds.

I Miss You All!!!

I know that I have been a mostly absent blogger for the last, OH! eight to ten months and I hate it. There are a couple of reasons for that. At work they only update our software once every two or three YEARS and we are still running Internet Explorer 7. So this means that I can read your blogs, but I cannot comment on them. I finally got so frustrated that I stopped reading!

But work keeps me busy - and they aren't paying me to blog there. And then there is school! Spring Break started today after I turned in my final paper. It was a fairly impressively written discussion on how the Tuskegee Syphilis Study plays into the federal regulations required today for those attempting to do research with humans involved. Exciting stuff! (It was pretty fun, really, but I am a dork!)

I have the next 9 days of allowing my brain to do nothing more strenuous than watch The Walking Dead (and do you all LOVE that show as I do?), read a couple of lame novels, and, well, work. It does pay the bills. After that I have NINE more weeks of school! NINE! And the lovely graduation! I do not mind telling you, I am so ready!

I am taking the entire summer off to let my brain decay before I start my Masters in the fall! I hope to catch up with all of you either over the next week or over the summer.

And, in case you care, I am paying close attention to the climate in this country and it is UGLY! Headed to Tallahassee on April 28th to march in protest against the Republican war on women. There is a march planned for your state capital also!!

The End of an Era

I've never been all that fascinated with the idea of space travel. It just grabs the imagination of some and not others and I am one of the others.  I was only about 15 months old when Armstrong took that small step for man, so it was already history by the time I was aware of my surroundings.  I do remember being called to watch a slashdown.. Apollo 13 maybe? I remember my dad was super excited about and I was mildly annoyed with him.

I also remember being summoned from my room to watch the first shuttle land in California. I was 14 by then and was daily mildly annoyed with my father, so this probably produced a serious huff. (And probably some eye-rolling because he pulled me away from the phone or a book.)

The Challenger was my first experience with adult disaster and the thoughts of it can still bring a sick feeling to my stomach and a lump in my throat.

But space never grabbed my imagination.

Today though with the last shuttle launch complete, I'm sad. Not because I never made it to the moon or the space station or orbited Earth (I'd rather go to to Ireland), but because it feels like one more area in which the U.S. is no longer a leader. Space was ours. The moon was ours. And now it's not. Now we are dependent on other nations to get supplies to the space station.  Those four who blasted off a couple of hours ago will be dependent on Russia if the shuttle becomes inoperable.

And that makes me sad.

Happy Independence Day!

This is me standing outside the National Archives last October. No pictures may be taken inside, of course, because the flash is not a good idea for the precious documents stored there. It was a pretty thrilling day for me, seeing the Delcaration of Independence, the Magna Carta, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights... handwritten by those who are long gone, but who did so much for this country, and who have inspired me for years!

It's going to be a quiet day here in the LeftLeaning house since both DSD and BabyBoy have to work. I am going to work on my book review and continue to prepare for the company due in next weekend.

I hope your day is wonderful and blessed with laughter, love, and some great food!

The End of World... may happen one day... but not today!

While I saw some smarta$$ on Facebook who said only Americans were going to be taken in today's alleged Rapture (he was being tongue in cheek) I have been scanning the online news to see if there have been any strange disappearances and cannot find a link to one.

Not one.

It is past 6pm, 1800 hours, GMT or 0001Zulu at this point of my day and everyone seems to be staying put.

Part of me feels horrible for those who believed and spent all of their money, quit their jobs and now have nothing, but the other part thinks that they were just stupid. There has been talk about the possibility of mass suicides over this.

So no Harley, no jewels, no free food. DSD is at work, but we are going to buy groceries when he gets off, because we are planning to be here tomorrow!

There is Rejoicing Across the Land!

And yet it makes me uncomfortable.

Last night I was just settling down to a good night's sleep when I received a text from the delightful D telling me that bin Laden was dead. I got my glasses (I had already taken out my contacts), informed BabyBoy of the news (DSD was sound asleep), and turned the TV back on.  I didn't even make it until the President's speech due to the OTC sleeping pill I had taken. I was sound asleep about 30 minutes later when I heard some banging around, and Lola started barking, and I was rudely awakened.

BabyBoy was on the back porch, smoking.  He does try to quit every single day and as long as he keeps trying he will succeed one day, but he had gone all day without a cigarette and was now smoking... it was after 11 CDT.

I forced myself up, and I joined him on the porch, and he was watching the partying in front of the White House and at Ground Zero and in many other places. And he was very upset. He had apparently posted something on Facebook about the fact that rejoicing in the death of ANYONE was not something that he felt Christians did, and his father (did I mention he is an ASS?) immediately texted BabyBoy (in all caps) telling him that he was a complete disapointment to the world or something like that.  I didn't get to read the Facebook post, he had already removed it by the time I joined him, but he was quite confused by the fact that many of his friends (and family) are constantly asking for prayers, talking about how we should live for God, talking about their Christianity and their Christian beliefs, and yet they were partying like it was 1999. Over a death.

And he has a valid point. 

I can completely understand rejoicing by those who were personally affected by 9/11. Those in NYC, in D.C, those who lost loved ones.

We, in NW Florida, were devastated, but life went on.  We cried a little. We watched the news a little more. We hugged more frequently.  But there was no scar on the landscape of our world. All of our loved ones were sitting around our dinner table every night. So I can understand some of the joy. But why for everyone? Why did I change my profile picture to one of the Washington Monument with a little bit of the American flag flying?

The death of bin Laden changes nothing. We are still at war. Our soldiers, sailors, airman, and marines will not be returning home this week. Some will still return in flag draped coffins.

And should we ever celebrate death?

Can anyone answer these questions?

Happy Birthday!

To me!

Today is the 23rd anniversary of my 21st birthday. Which means that my anniversary is now older than my birthday AND should have a job. :-)

It won't actually be my birthday for another 90 minutes, but my plans for tomorrow include sleeping late, finishing my paper, and working in my little garden. I may have to cook some turnip greens because I accidentally planted extra.

I do have a picture of the garden that I took on Saturday that I will try to get posted soon!

Little Bits of This and That

I am stuck at work for another half hour, because I went to the going away luncheon of someone I didn't really like and it took TWO hours. It doesn't make a lot of sense for me to be here when the docs are not, but there is so much that does not make sense already, that I do not have time to concern myself with this one.

Coming to the end of Week 2 of Term IV. I am taking my introductary Political Science class, because, I still have one more to go... class that is. And I have to have a certain number of classes actually taken at Troy, so I decided a History minor would go well for me. And I am considering getting the Master's in History instead of Poli Sci, but who knows? I only know that the politics of the world make no sense, and I feel like I need to DO something. But what? With history, people should have DONE something, but I can't change it now.

Why are we bombing the snot out of Libya? It has nothing to do with the people of Libya, because there is mass slaughter all over the globe every day and we do nothing.  Couldn't that money be spent on helping Japan? Or Haiti? Or New Jersey? (That was a joke!)

Did you know that the lungs of healthy, tall, skinny people can just COLLAPSE? Wow. BabyBoy was leaving after work this afternoon to go spend a couple of days visiting Hogwarts (where I was supposed to take him in January, but we went to DC in October instead) and he isn't going because his buddy's lung just collapsed this morning. The friend is at the hospital and will be for a bit. The MDs and PhDs explained it to me but what I retained is that the lining of the lungs of tall, skinny people are very very thin & they always have extra liquid in and around their organs. I've never been tall and skinny, and now I am neither, but that is a little disconcerting.

Why can't Congress pass a budget? Why are they so concerned about women's uteruses? What the hell happened to my precious state? Attempting to get rid of all the teachers, not paying the ones that are left, drug testing welfare recipients? WTF?

My half hour is up. I have to read about 75 pages tonight on how technology has made the world flat.

OH! And DSD is now EMPLOYED! Thank you for all of your happy thoughts! I think he may be working for the same company, in the same department where Fallenmonk works!

Thanks for Nothin'

A story on NPR today made me think of one of my favorite childhood stories, "The Little Red Hen." I am not going to tell it here, so if you don't know the story, do a quick Google search on it. But according to the fine folks at All Things Considererd, Americans WANT new, safe, bridges and roads, but not if there is going to a $0.02 gas tax.  They want Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security. They want their children to have quality education.  But they don't want to PAY for it. And they don't want it cut!!

What do they want to cut? Foreign aid. All that money sent to Africa to help with A.I.D.S. education, and all that money that was sent to Haiti, and all the money sent to..... how much will that save us? It amounts to less than 1% of the total budget.

How about we make corporations pay their share? How about we tax all income, including capital gains taxes? How about we PAY our fair share?

I am game. Due to the tuition I pay for myself and BabyBoy, DSD and I are getting back a really stupid amount of money. Our total tax bill is probably less than $2,000. Sad. That's not going to go very far.

Why don't we start making our veterans pay into their own retirement? Why don't we make Congress?

Not I, said the duck. Not I, said the pig. Not I, said the cow. I guess I will do it all myself then, said the little red hen, and she did.

I Did Too!

I wrote an entire post about hatred, where it comes from, because we are not born hating. It took an entire day, off and on, because I was at work and was running around.

But I saved it everytime I walked away from my computer and at the end of the day it was done and I clicked "PUBLISH POST" and was quite impressed by my awesomeness.

And I came back the next day and it was a draft. About 3 lines long.

I was quite disturbed.  But I wanted to tell you that I had not run away as I did last year. I am behind on my reading AND my writing, but this is mid-term week and I have plenty to write on Nelson vs NASA. (No, not MAJOR Anthony Nelson.. in case you were wondering.)

I hope 2011 is going well for you.

An Analysis of Jon Stewart's Rally Speech

Speech Analysis of Jon Stewart’s closing speech at “The Rally to Restore Sanity.”

            On a breezy October day in front of a crowd of 215,000 with the Capital Building providing a dramatic backdrop, Jon Stewart explained why we were all there.  With only about fifteen minutes left of an entertaining three hour program that included Ozzy Osborne, R2D2, and The O’Jays, Mr. Stewart turned serious and described what he was trying to accomplish with this rally and that while it was and had been fun, it was important that the people who were there, and those watching at home, remember that we could all work together in the United States to get things done.  That most of us do every single day.

            Jon Stewart was very careful to tell everyone that our country is in crisis.  That our country has far to go to get back to anything resembling normal and that times are difficult. But then he explained times are difficult, but that does not mean that we are staring at the end of the world, or even of life as we know it.  That we can get past this and get through this and we can come out on the far side, stronger for it.

            Mr. Stewart lay into the media with both barrels, lambasting those who are supposed to deliver our news to us as not only unfair and unbalanced, but as over dramatists and reactionaries who are not giving the people of the United States anything resembling true news.  “The press can hold its magnifying glass up to our problems and illuminate problems heretofore unseen, or it can use its magnifying glass to light ants on fire, and then perhaps host a week of shows on the sudden, unexpected dangerous-flaming-ant epidemic,” he said, showing his characteristic humor even while expounding on his theory that as a comedian, he is not a politician.

            My favorite part of Jon Stewart’s speech was when he played a video of cars merging as the road narrowed from three or four lanes into two as the cars entered a tunnel.  Jon made guesses about each driver of each car as they merged, “that’s a school teacher who thinks taxes are too high…there’s a mom with two kids who can’t think about anything else...another car, the lady’s in the NRA. She loves Oprah…An investment banker, gay, also likes Oprah,” and explained that these cars and these drivers at this particular space and time was us. The United States. America. A microcosm of the good and the bad and hateful. Each and every one of us.  Mr. Stewart explained that America is a bunch of really busy people trying to get through each day and that we are and that we will and that while it does not appear to be true, we will all be better off in the end, because we can work together and we can compromise and we can accept and learn from each. No matter where we were born, the color of our skin, where we go to church or who we voted for in the last election. That we will be fine. One compromise at a time.

Do You Just Get Tired Also?

Maybe it is the demise of Daylight Savings Time. This year I think I can blame the election and the vitriol of it, both before and after.

DSD and I just returned from his parents' home in the central portion of the state. They are wonderful people, but I just don't relax when I am around his mother. I am always terrified I will spill something.

So I have been out of town for an extended amount of time for 3 of the last 5 weekends. And I'm tired.

And a little depressed. I look around at the stupid. I read glaring examples of it. I see it at work. I see it on TV (if I watch it).  I even see it in my college classes, people who can not (or do not) use the English language correctly in the written form, an instructor who is too lazy to even think of the weekly questions on her own.

But classes are winding up. Less than a month to go. And everyone who stops in here makes me smile. Especially those who comment. Hint. Hint.

So please be patient. With me. With each other.

And I will eventually get the post up about the rest of my DC trip and the lovely little (really, she is TINY) DC blogger I met in person!

Home Safe and Sound and Sane

Wow! What a great time! What a great city!

I'm home, FINALLY losing that cough, and, of course, behind in school and work.

But I have some great pictures and some great stories and I am hoping to get them up soon. I will probably just write a bunch of short posts, because no one wants the entire 4 1/2 days in one 4 1/2 day post.

Soon... I hope.

Because I don't want to discuss the elections. At least not until the wound has a nice scab.

Email Me!

There are details at my previous post on where I am staying and when I am planning to meet with TrueBlueTexan on Saturday morning. If you can't make that meeting and want to try for another, email me at LeftLeaningLady@gmail.com. I can access that email account from my phone.

I don't think I will be able to do a lot of blogging from D.C., but I am hoping to have a lot to say after I return. I just hope I have the energy to do all of the things I want to do!

Have a great weekend!

Voting and Traveling and Being Sick

I am so glad the 'blog world is able to function without me. I have started a dozen posts in my head over the last week, but have not had the opportunity to get them down before, "Poof, they are gone!"

Wednesday (10/20) was our wedding anniversary, but we were inundated by family so we postponed the celebration.

Thursday I woke up with my throat on fire. And people due in from DC for training. So I went to work. And learned quite a bit. And I went out, because it seemed mean to NOT, and I adore these particular people (not something you will hear from me a lot), so dinner and drinks and I steadily felt worse. Fever, chills, aches, pains. Yuck. So not only was I miserable I have probably infected all of Bay County. NOT my brightest move.

Temp was ~ 101 at 8pm when I finally made it home. Nyquil and bed. Still ~ 101 @ 12:30 am. I took some Motrin and the fever broke between 1:30 & 2, but I was exhausted. I'm not sleeping well, even when DSD doesn't snore. I took Friday off and slept all day.

Yesterday there were groceries to buy, homework to finish, and a lovely dinner to celebrate our anniversary.

What does all of this mean? Well, I have not even watched the news in DAYS. Of course when I try to watch actual TV, the political ads make me insane. I would love to say, "I'm not voting for anyone running an ad that contains lies or is just nasty," but I refuse to stay home on election day! I will vote. Then I will bitch.

Thank you to everyone who is managing to post information that the world needs to know. Hopefully I will be back in the swing soon.

BUT, I must be healthy by Friday, because I am headed to DC!!!!

More Whining.. With Extra Special Sauce

Looking back, probably part of the reason I disappeared for as long as I did was just depression. Not clinical really, although the Paxil did help for a while, but just bone deep, "I know what is wrong and can not fix it."  And that is still weighing on me.

I mentioned my work situation a couple of times here and here.  After I posted the second one, I received very sound advice on what to do and how to do it. I am completely humiliated to say I did nothing. Still haven't. We have a new person working here and she has already contacted HR (after 4 months) about the hostile work environment and the fact that we have absolutely zero management or supervision. Last week. After 4 months. Two months before her probation is up.

I beat myself up about it last week. You know, could've, should've, would've...BUT.

In my case there really was a BUT and I couldn't get around it.  Yes, my job pays really well, for what I do and this area, and, yes, DSD is still out of work and his retirement will not support us and so I really have to work. BUT those are not the reasons I kept quiet. The reason I kept quiet was because I was not the only person involved and the other person was a friend.  Or so I thought.

She had (some months prior) to the big blowout around here, found herself having sex with another employee.  Someone else paid his pay check, but we all worked here together.  Both were married. I didn't judge, except to think that she had really, really bad taste.  She separated from her husband, his wife discovered his shenanigans and made threats, the affair ended.

Last August the shyte hit the fan.  The man (?) my friend had had sex with had (allegedly) also had sex with another employee and befriended the crazy person (really we call her CrO short for Crazy One) who makes our lives miserable. She (CrO) had then proceeded to tell the world about all of the sex this guy was getting. There was blah, blah, blah and meetings and stuff and I am boring myself just by typing it all.

So, my "friend" and I called our true boss in Jacksonville and she came here and there were more meetings and more stuff and blah, blah, blah and she was allegedly not impressed with the BS being spread by CrO, PLUS I had documentation of lies she told and the persecution she was giving me and others and how it was almost impossible to DO MY JOB... HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT.  The boss gave me (and the "friend" advice) which we followed and then we proceeded to get REAMED out and my "friend" was told that she would be the only one losing her job. No husband, no job... gets tough.

So we sat down and shut up. Come to work. Do our jobs. Go home. I actually love my job, except for CrO and the one in Jacksonville.

June 2010 - my "friend" gets a new, better paying, more stable position. New girl starts. New girl gets fed up quickly.

October 2010 - new girl contacts HR. I am not positive what has happened with that and the new girl is off now until next week.

My issue? My "friend" who has now reconciled with her husband and does not want to jeopardize her marriage again informed me that she didn't care what the new girl does, as long as the "friend's" name is not brought up. I don't know how her husband could even hear about an investigation.. even an indepth one. But I felt like once her position was secure, she would be here for me to help me prove that I was NOT the insane one last year. That we were/are being persecuted. That even the Bitch in Jacksonville should not be working, especially in management, because she is an embarrassment to this company. 

Truthfully? When I read the article in Vanity Fair about Sarah Palin's temper tantrums and her mood swings, I thought, "Holy shit, this could be about CrO"

Life's not fair. And I understand looking out for #1, but my feelings were hurt. My only hope is that I will be receiving a promotion and will be moving into another department. I knew that would not occur before October 1, and probably not before 1 January.. but please cross your fingers that it happens SOON! Or that the new HR person that was contacted last week actually does something.

And maybe hope that I start making new friends.

Missing Picture?!?

Weird. I had no picture. And here I am planning to meet all sorts of new people in D.C. soon and they would not know what I looked like!

DSD is now on medication. Poor guy got screwed on the genetics, I think. Wish us luck, because we are travelling this weekend and that is going to be difficult!

My First Speech ***UPDATED*** Now includes a picture of the doll

Troy University requires a speech class to be a PoliSci major. I am taking this class locally at the community college, because I couldn't see taking a speech class online. Wouldn't that be wierd?
First speeches were due last Wednesday (9/8) and I went first because I was so nervous. Let me talk about politics or football, but an "artifact speech" dealing with something that can represent ME? Scary.

This is the speech I gave.

"Poor is a relative term. Growing up, I didn’t know that we were poor. We had a nice house. We got new shoes and new clothes every year before school started, and we always received nice things at Christmas. Most of the time that included more new clothes, but there were toys and bikes also. We also took a vacation every year from the time I was 6 until after I graduated from high school. The vacation was always to visit my dad’s family in northern Indiana, but, stopping at Opryland or the Caverns in Kentucky, we managed to have a day or two of fun also. I didn’t know that sometimes my mother stayed awake all night wondering where the money was going to come from to feed us and pay the bills, or how every single year we came close to losing the house because my parents always paid the taxes late.

But if poor is a relative term and we were considered poor, then there must be another term to use for the abject poverty my mother grew up in. There were no new clothes. There were no shoes. Not only did her family not have vacations or toys, but they didn’t have running water or indoor plumbing or toilet paper. She played with glass coke bottles as a child, holding them like baby dolls, pretending to feed them and change their diapers as she saw her sisters do with her younger brothers — and then with their own children, as they married young to escape.

On May 2, 1959, my mother’s 12th birthday, she received a real doll — a beautiful, porcelain doll that had turned 50 the previous year. This was a gift from her great-grandmother, because they shared the middle name, Lee. My mother carried that doll everywhere for the next 34 years. She moved to New Jersey in high school to live with one of her sisters. She met and married my father, had me and my brother, and moved from pillar to post and back again. When I was young, the doll lived in a shoe box in the linen closet wrapped in a dingy brown cloth where she wore an equally dingy brown dress,. Sometimes I asked my mom if I could look at the doll, sometimes I just looked at her when my mother was not home, but I was always careful, almost reverent when I took her from her box. Through the years this doll began to symbolize my mother to me— her strength, her beauty, her ability to withstand the years and live in conditions that were not the best in the world, but still to endure. To grow. To prosper.

As I got older— after we all managed to survive my teen years— my mother endured my marriage to a man she never liked or approved of, the birth of my only child, the sale of our family home, and a diagnosis of darkness in the not too distant future. She has not driven in 15 years. She chose to give up her driver’s license rather than risk the lives of others. Sometimes she is sad. Sometimes she is angry. Sometimes she questions why she has this horrifying disease, because there are others in the world who have never worked and never contributed. Her fondest wish is to have her eyesight restored so that she could go to the grocery store alone and work every single day for the rest of her life.

Sometimes I get tired. Or annoyed by having to run errands, go grocery shopping or car pool. Sometimes I think I want to never have to leave my house. Then I remember that while those things are chores, they are also a privilege. And I look at the doll my mother gave me on my 26th birthday, in its beautiful, white dress, in its glass case and I know that I can be as strong as I have to be, as strong as my mother has always been. "

One Giant Step for Caterpillars!

I have just discovered the joy of gardening. As I get older (and wiser) I notice that I eat almost everything now that I never would have considered years ago and I enjoy it. Fresh fruits and vegetables from the grocery store are not very yummy, and who knows where they have arrived here from. Plus one day I will (I hope) be an old Southern woman and there is a requirement that we "wear funny hats and old clothes and grow vegetables in the dirt." (Shirley McClain's charactar 'Ouiser' "Steel Magnolias")

So I planted tomatoes and red peppers and cucumbers and summer squash and 2 kinds of basil and some oregano. And I watered. And I talked to the little darlings. And I watched them.

And blooms arrived. And I watered. And I fertilized. Organic, of course. And fruit arrived. And rotted.

I did manage several cucumbers. And a tomato. And a squash.

Ok, new tomato plants and new squash plants and LOOK AT THIS! Peppers growing. On the vine.

And the bugs came.



Nature is a circle. And these bugs provide a service, somewhere in the cirle.

And I do NOT want to use pesticides. So we have donated the pepper plant and 1 tomato plant to these really fat things.

And the cucumbers were taken by what DSD is referring to as 'mites'

But the basil and oregano are coming right along! I think we are going to be eating a lot of Italian food. (Basil/oregano pizza is really yummy! Too bad the sauce isn't fresh!)