Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Labor Day Trip to Hell and Back*

As I said in my last post, DSD's daughter was scheduled to get married over Labor Day weekend, just north of Nashville. We loaded up in the car early Thursday morning, DSD, his oldest son, DSD jr and I, and set off. DSD jr was pleasant for the hour of the trip he was awake, DSD and I had Dan Brown's "The Lost Symbol" on CD** and away we went.

Now I have to interject here and explain that I have always felt that DSD jr has treated me with rudeness and disrespect, even during the 16-18 month period when he lived in my house. I had not had a problem with the daughter, whom we will call, SD, because I am not feeling too creative, until earlier this year. DSD's relationship with these children is not the best, most healthy in the world. I have never stood in the way of it, but they were graduating high school about the time we started dating, so they have been grown 90% of the time I have known them. When SD called our house last year on Father's Day to announce her pregnancy (she was past the 5 month mark) I was a little freaked, but she was 25 years old, would be 26 before the birth of the child and she was in a relationship and they weren't asking for money or our blessings. Great. Wonderful. Congratulations.

I jumped on board the baby wagon (hey! who doesn't love a baby??) and DSD and I immediately ordered the crib on her registry and I bought the baby (a boy) some great Florida Gator onesies and a couple of toys. (I did, those were not joint gifts).

Baby is born. I had a conference to Nashville. We meet the baby daddy and his 2 girls from a previous marriage (their mother died several years ago) and had a lovely weekend on the company's dime. Christmas arrived, I sent nice things for everyone and SD told DSD who told me she really loved everything. Rude? Well, yes, but BabyBoy has been guilty of the same thing, so I just went along with my life.

January 2010 - DSD received a Facebook request from SD.
Late January 2010 - LLL received a Facebook request from SD.
Early February 2010 - SD makes rude comments IN ALL CAPS about people (in general) on FB.
LLL (of course) immediately sends her a PRIVATE message explaining that all caps is considered yelling and I was just trying to help, because I didn't know how much time she had spent on social networking site.
Mid- February 2010- LLL is de-friended by SD.

I knew what had happened. But I feigned shock. And I said, "Hmmm, must've been a FB glitch." And I sent her another friend request. And she ignored it.

DSD finally asked her what had happened. And she told him (in an email) that she was a member of several different social (mommy) sites, that she had yelled intentionally, and that I had embarrassed her.

This was in March, maybe April.

We sent her a "First Mother's Day" card.

We sent her baby daddy a birthday card.

DSD received neither a Father's Day card nor a birthday card from her (or a phone call for either) and the wedding announcement was received via e-mail from her mother.

Fast forward to this weekend and you can understand why I was not looking forward to the trip.

Arrival at their house, hugs all around, weird. Discussion about the trip, see the girls (beautiful, well-behaved, literate girls), wait for the baby to wake from nap. Give baby his birthday present, take pictures of baby. Play with baby... from across the room, because I know better than to get to close. "Oh, LLL, did you want to help with the decorations? We are baking the cake and tying bows on really stupid stuff that was a complete and total waste of money, so THANKS for buying the beer!"

Friday, my in-laws arrived in a lovely reprieve of manners and kindness. Friday evening, was the rehearsal. No one had a clue. This song or that song, who is giving her away? DSD will walk her part way, then her step-father will walk her.. no, let's try this and that and.. Ok. That is the point of the rehearsal, except no one really figured out what was going on and it was still a fiasco on Saturday.

There is nothing wrong with a backyard wedding. Nothing. They are simple and sweet and inexpensive. There is nothing wrong with an outrageously stupidly, expensive church wedding an open bar and a sit down dinner for 500 of your closest friends. Just don't ask me to pay for it. And, please, don't combine the two, because that doesn't work. Aisle runners outside. First couple's dance with no other dancing. Champagne toast, but the rest of the champagne was hidden or something, because there was TONS left over that no one drank. (Because they didn't know it was there?)

The worst though, absolute worst part, was Sunday morning. We told everyone we would arrive at SD's house at 8:00, that we would visit for an hour or so and then get on the road. We arrived at 7:59. The house smelled deliciously of bacon. They sat down to breakfast at 8:20. At 8:30 I was asked if I wanted breakfast, because "there was plenty." DSD and I both declined and I had a couple of MickyD's cheeseburgers at 10:30.


I am certain you really don't want to hear about all of this, but I vented to Facebook as much as I could, considering I don't want to hurt DSD's feelings. I tried to explain to a friend at work that maybe it was northern thing, but she corrected me, post haste. She is from Wisconsin.

So, that is my tale of woe. I do have something on the political front to post, but I have homework also. This took longer than I had anticipated. I am not holding my breath on hearing from his kids again. I will continue to send stuff to the children. But I am done with the grown ups.

*As opposed to the pizza joint in NW Florida Helen Back Cafe, which is supposed to have really great pizza.

**I would bet listening to a book on CD while you are driving would be great. But I was the passenger and I was bored. I would rather read if I am not driving.

No comments: