Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Crazy Bio Teacher Update

Last night was my last real biology class. Next Monday is the final. I am not doing very well in this class. I kicked butt the first test with a 95% and the other 3 tests have been in the low to mid 70s range. So I am probably going to end up with a C. This will be the first C I have gotten since I returned to school more years ago than I want to count. I am not happy about it, but I am not blaming the teacher for my poor grades.

Or I am not blaming her much.

The problem is that she is a moron. Seriously.

She is the instructor. She is supposed to know what she is talking about and she should be able to pronounce the words for the body system she is teaching. She mispronounces simple words and I stop listening; hence, a C average.

But what biology instructor says CARDIATIC for CARDIAC? Or SYSTEMATIC for SYSTEMIC? URETHA instead of URETHRA? It makes me in-freaking-sane!

Last night's class was the absolute worst, though. Cancer, STDs and reproduction. Cancer was quick and painless, but I know a little something about STDs and reproduction myself. I have a 20 year old son, so I have done my best to keep informed about sexually transmitted diseases to ensure that I was giving him the best possible answers; the truthful answers. And I have personally reproduced, although that does not make me an expert. I am also quite fascinated by reproduction and I read a lot on the subject. If I ever win the lottery and can afford not to work, my plan is to start my own business as a doula. I was actually asked if I wanted a job at the local hospital when my bff had her second child, because I was the only one she would listen to and I could get her through the contractions without her coming unglued.

So when Ms. Crazy was explaining that herpes can pass through a condom I was dumbfounded. Although she was technically correct; she never explained that latex condoms are safe and that the virus can only pass through lambskin.

I almost lost my mind when she told the class that it is easy to get pregnant on the pink (or green) 'sugar' pills taken during the week of menstruation, because a woman is not receiving hormones and then she told us that a woman should NEVER go straight through the pills to prevent menstruation. She just sort of shuddered and said something about her college days and how horrible it was.

These are all lies. And while most of the class is grown, we have at least three 19 or 20 year old women in there. I turned around after the comment on getting pregnant during the sugar pills and told them it was lie. But what are the chances they believe me?

The facts are that the birth control pills are 99.9% effective when taken correctly. The BCPs prevent ovulation and, if by some freak accident, ovulation occurs and fertilization occurs, the pills prevent implantation. And there are new pills that a woman takes 365 days a year with no menstruation EVER.

But the absolute most horrible part of the class was when she informed the class that if a woman performs oral sex, the sperm will live in the mouth for up to 72 hours and can show up on a dental X-ray. I was not even sure if this was true or not! I specifically asked if Listerine would kill them and was told NO! After thinking about it this morning, I realize that she is absolutely full of crap. The enzymes and bacteria in my mouth would kill the sperm. I asked the MDs I work with if this was possible and was told even if I went in DIRECTLY after performing AND HADN'T BRUSHED MY TEETH sperm does not show up on X-rays.

My plan was to email her department head after next week's final and complain about the mispronunciations, but I think I have to email him or her today. After sitting through a class on something I actually knew about and receiving incorrect information, I am wondering how much other incorrect information I have received this semester? And I am worried that others in the class are spreading the false information around.


Shel said...


I can only hope the other students in the class realize she's full of it and don't believe what she said last night.

andante said...

Good grief.

DEFINITELY e-mail her dept. head - and hope that he isn't as ignorant!

Carl (aka Sofarsogoo) said...

Wow! That was a really powerful dose of blog, Lady! I don't remember hearing anything like these things when I took biology, when we were lucky even to hear about the doings of Venus Flytraps. But then, besides being in a high school instead, my biology class was a universe away from yours in every other way as well. :)

ModernMommy said...

This is crazy. Please let us know what happens. How is this lady allowed to teach there? Come on! Sperm showing up on x-rays?