Monday, December 17, 2007

Don't I Have a Responsibility?

Let me see if I can get this all down in something resembling a coherant thought.

DSD and I (mostly him) have a friend, although he isn't really MY friend, I just kind of put up with him. Does that make any sense at all? We don't even really have the same circle of friends, except this guy, whom we will call Brad, because that is his name, likes to drink at the same place we do. I am not positive how long he has been drinking there; it feels like forever. For a time, I thought he was just a smartass, and since I, too, have a certain smartassishness about me, he was, sort of, amusing. I would say horrible things to him and he would say horrible things to me and this was fun. (Yes, in my family that was always considered a good time).

Then, several months ago now, he started flirting with a girl who worked at this bar/restaurant. She was a hostess. A 17 year old, will be 18 soon, supposedly graduating high school in December (yes, this week) hostess. He is a past 35 year old single father of a 15 or 16 year old son with a decent salary and plenty of toys. (Boats, jeeps, etc). He kept saying (this was some time ago) that he was bringing this girl to my wedding, because she would be 18 then. (She turned 18 nine days before the wedding.) I, of course, laughed aloud. What would a past 35 year old man see in such a child? What would they talk about? And, he is such a FUNNY guy! And, I told DSD, I bet he is going to bring Jen (an ex-gf whom I adored) and this whole "I am almost a pedophile" is just a joke! HA.

Or, I am a complete and total moron. Hmmmm, let's not vote on this one, ok?

Apparently he is NOT a funny guy. Apparently he has the maturity of a 10 year old and all the smartass comments we were exchanging was his way of communicating. And he did bring this CHILD to my wedding. Where he provided her with alcohol, although I did not know about this until later.

So, to make a long post even longer, last Friday DSD and I were having a lovely alcoholic beverage at ye olde watering hole and Brad arrived with Tootsie (not her real name!). I wasn't paying a lot of attention, but did notice that Brad received a glass of wine and a beer. He said that the wine was for him. The bartender said she thought the wine was for Tootsie and the beer was for him; so what did Tootsie want? I said, "She wants a soda; she is 18 years old," and went about my business. Later, I noticed that she was drinking from a styrofoam cup with a lid and a straw. This is not a styrofoam kind of place, they use real utensils there and the plates are not thrown away after dining is complete. So, of course, I ASSUME she is consuming alcohol. And it was my plan to go this afternoon for a drink (a sacrifice, because I normally go on Friday) and, well, to be blunt, rat out the bartender that was serving her.

Just for the record I have now corresponded with a fellow consumer of alchoholic beverage who works with Brad and she says Tootsie was a wee bit sickly later in the evening ('worshiping the porcelain god').

My problem.. yes, I did work my way around to it.. is that DSD thinks I am being a trouble-maker. Stirring the pot, causing hate and discontent. And, maybe, I am. Frankly the entire relationship creeps me out. I have an 18 year old son and I would kill a 35 year old woman who tried to 'date' him. Can't imagine how parents of girls feel.

So, what would YOU do?


andante said...

I don't know about your area, but in ours it's illegal to serve anyone underage and the establishment can be heavily fined/shut down. If I'm not mistaken, they don't even have to serve the drink - just let it be consumed on their premises.

I don't know, but I think I would have quietly tipped off the bartender, manager, owner or whatever. And probably not told DSD. He doesn't really need to know.

Yeah, slightly sneaky - I know. I'm just like that...I try to avoid trouble if possible. But I like my drinking establishments, and don't want to see them shut down or suffering the penalty for a patron's stupidity.

As to the age gap - I suppose some people would think it's no big deal, but I find it a bit creepy, too. It probably isn't so easy for him to find anyone eligible in his own age bracket, since most (or many) 35-yr-old women are divorced (with kids, sometimes) or not interested for whatever reasons.

She, however, has a big, wide field to choose from and should be looking elsewhere. And growing up.

LeftLeaningLady said...

Thank you! It is creepy, because she is so young. Did I mention she was telling people at my wedding to convince him he should marry her? Weird situation all the way around!

andante said...


Anyone who needs to be 'convinced' he/she should marry isn't worth convincing. Or marrying.

Both of them are too immature to make reasonable decisions.