The Labor Day Trip to Hell and Back*

As I said in my last post, DSD's daughter was scheduled to get married over Labor Day weekend, just north of Nashville. We loaded up in the car early Thursday morning, DSD, his oldest son, DSD jr and I, and set off. DSD jr was pleasant for the hour of the trip he was awake, DSD and I had Dan Brown's "The Lost Symbol" on CD** and away we went.

Now I have to interject here and explain that I have always felt that DSD jr has treated me with rudeness and disrespect, even during the 16-18 month period when he lived in my house. I had not had a problem with the daughter, whom we will call, SD, because I am not feeling too creative, until earlier this year. DSD's relationship with these children is not the best, most healthy in the world. I have never stood in the way of it, but they were graduating high school about the time we started dating, so they have been grown 90% of the time I have known them. When SD called our house last year on Father's Day to announce her pregnancy (she was past the 5 month mark) I was a little freaked, but she was 25 years old, would be 26 before the birth of the child and she was in a relationship and they weren't asking for money or our blessings. Great. Wonderful. Congratulations.

I jumped on board the baby wagon (hey! who doesn't love a baby??) and DSD and I immediately ordered the crib on her registry and I bought the baby (a boy) some great Florida Gator onesies and a couple of toys. (I did, those were not joint gifts).

Baby is born. I had a conference to Nashville. We meet the baby daddy and his 2 girls from a previous marriage (their mother died several years ago) and had a lovely weekend on the company's dime. Christmas arrived, I sent nice things for everyone and SD told DSD who told me she really loved everything. Rude? Well, yes, but BabyBoy has been guilty of the same thing, so I just went along with my life.

January 2010 - DSD received a Facebook request from SD.
Late January 2010 - LLL received a Facebook request from SD.
Early February 2010 - SD makes rude comments IN ALL CAPS about people (in general) on FB.
LLL (of course) immediately sends her a PRIVATE message explaining that all caps is considered yelling and I was just trying to help, because I didn't know how much time she had spent on social networking site.
Mid- February 2010- LLL is de-friended by SD.

I knew what had happened. But I feigned shock. And I said, "Hmmm, must've been a FB glitch." And I sent her another friend request. And she ignored it.

DSD finally asked her what had happened. And she told him (in an email) that she was a member of several different social (mommy) sites, that she had yelled intentionally, and that I had embarrassed her.

This was in March, maybe April.

We sent her a "First Mother's Day" card.

We sent her baby daddy a birthday card.

DSD received neither a Father's Day card nor a birthday card from her (or a phone call for either) and the wedding announcement was received via e-mail from her mother.

Fast forward to this weekend and you can understand why I was not looking forward to the trip.

Arrival at their house, hugs all around, weird. Discussion about the trip, see the girls (beautiful, well-behaved, literate girls), wait for the baby to wake from nap. Give baby his birthday present, take pictures of baby. Play with baby... from across the room, because I know better than to get to close. "Oh, LLL, did you want to help with the decorations? We are baking the cake and tying bows on really stupid stuff that was a complete and total waste of money, so THANKS for buying the beer!"

Friday, my in-laws arrived in a lovely reprieve of manners and kindness. Friday evening, was the rehearsal. No one had a clue. This song or that song, who is giving her away? DSD will walk her part way, then her step-father will walk her.. no, let's try this and that and.. Ok. That is the point of the rehearsal, except no one really figured out what was going on and it was still a fiasco on Saturday.

There is nothing wrong with a backyard wedding. Nothing. They are simple and sweet and inexpensive. There is nothing wrong with an outrageously stupidly, expensive church wedding an open bar and a sit down dinner for 500 of your closest friends. Just don't ask me to pay for it. And, please, don't combine the two, because that doesn't work. Aisle runners outside. First couple's dance with no other dancing. Champagne toast, but the rest of the champagne was hidden or something, because there was TONS left over that no one drank. (Because they didn't know it was there?)

The worst though, absolute worst part, was Sunday morning. We told everyone we would arrive at SD's house at 8:00, that we would visit for an hour or so and then get on the road. We arrived at 7:59. The house smelled deliciously of bacon. They sat down to breakfast at 8:20. At 8:30 I was asked if I wanted breakfast, because "there was plenty." DSD and I both declined and I had a couple of MickyD's cheeseburgers at 10:30.

Classy.

I am certain you really don't want to hear about all of this, but I vented to Facebook as much as I could, considering I don't want to hurt DSD's feelings. I tried to explain to a friend at work that maybe it was northern thing, but she corrected me, post haste. She is from Wisconsin.

So, that is my tale of woe. I do have something on the political front to post, but I have homework also. This took longer than I had anticipated. I am not holding my breath on hearing from his kids again. I will continue to send stuff to the children. But I am done with the grown ups.

*As opposed to the pizza joint in NW Florida Helen Back Cafe, which is supposed to have really great pizza.

**I would bet listening to a book on CD while you are driving would be great. But I was the passenger and I was bored. I would rather read if I am not driving.

Skipping to the Good Stuff

There are tons of pictures of me getting dressed (not the dirty stuff), putting on makeup, etc. And I may add them slowly to this blog in addition to the several other posts that I have in mind. But for now, I just want to add the ceremony pictures and a couple of post-ceremony sunset pictures. Keep in mind, these are NOT the professional shots. These are the pictures that a friend of mine from work took. I can't wait to see the professional shots.

Here is DSD and his little man on his way to what I refer to as "the grassy knoll" for the ceremony.

I love this picture of me. I wish the trash can was not there, but what can you do?*

Walking down the aisle with my dad. This was NOT planned. DSD and I were supposed to walk down the aisle together, but his youngest son got bored and went to play on the beach just before the ceremony. So DSD had to go look for him and my dad decided to walk me down the aisle.

Exchanging rings.

The kiss.

Pictures! I promised

The boys! That handsome young man on the right is my son! The young one is DSD's youngest. I am not sure we have any of his other 2 children, because it was so late in the evening when we finally got them on camera.

This was about 12:00.

The tent finally leaving the ground about 2:45

My dress!

This is me! I am leaning over the balcony to see what is going on at the tent. I am completely ready, except for the dress, of course! Check out those cool Gator sunglasses. I am also waiting on DSD to shower inside the room. We saw each other in the morning, but he isn't allowed to see me now until I am 100% ready!

I will post more pictures soon! The really good ones will be next!

Pre-Wedding Glitches**** Updated**** One picture added

I am certain that there is not a party held anywhere in the entire world that does not run into a few glitches. Maybe the food is late, the flowers are incorrect or the ice runs out. This is stressful for everyone involved in the process and in the party itself.

We were lucky, really. With rain almost the entire week before the wedding and rain scheduled for 3 days after the wedding, we were really holding our breathes. It was scheduled to be an outdoor ceremony! What if the weather was bad? What if it was windy? What if there was Red Tide?

It was amazing to wake up on our wedding day to the best weather anyone could ask for. A few wispy clouds hovered on the horizon, but it appeared that the weather was not going to be an issue.

The alarm was set for 0730 so that the family could get the tables and chairs setup early. We were all staying at the hotel where the ceremony was to take place. DSD jumped out of bed, ran to the balcony to check out the weather and ran back in to the bedroom. (silly me, thinking I could grap 2 more hours). "You better call the tent guy" he said. The tent was scheduled to be setup on the 19th, but the tent guy called that morning and said the weather was iffy. IF it cleared up in late afternoon (the rain stopped by 4pm), they would get to it. If not, they would be there at dawn. Dawn. Doesn't that mean sunrise? Now it is officially fall, but sunrise is still only a little after 6am. At 0730 they were no where to be seen. I called, was apologised to profusely and was told they were an hour away. I called again at 0930. They arrived at 10. That is not dawn!

Due to the fact that they were so late in arriving, the tent people were willing to wave the normal setup fee for the tables and chairs (we had chosen to do the setup ourselves to save a little money) and they would take care of it all. DSD took them the linens and the chart of the layout that we had decided on and I went off happily to get my hair done with my mom. The tent finally left the ground about 3! (This was a BIG tent) Left the ground. It wasn't done, just up. It was not tied down or strapped on and there were no lights yet. There was no way possible this would be done AND the tables, chairs, linens and centerpieces would be setup by the time the guests started arriving about 5. The entire family rallied, throwing tables, chairs, linens and centerpieces together in the shortest amount of time possible. I even have pictures of DSD's dad and brother-in-law helping strap the tent. I am still dumbfounded at the amount of work that was done in 2 short hours. By the time I exited my room, beautifully dressed and coiffed, everything looked exactly as I had pictured it.

Sadly, due to the fact that some family members were still setting up as late as 5, we missed out on a lot of the planned family pictures that were to be taken before the ceremony. DSD's mom arrived just shortly before the ceremony started and my bff, P, almost didn't take time to shower. They both worked terribly hard to ensure that my day was as wonderful as it could possibly be. Thank you both!

I am hoping to post some actual wedding pictures soon, but, Blogger is being a little uncooperative. I will try again later (that means tomorrow!).


****I was trying to add a picture of the view outside my hotel room window, but I couldn't find it on my hard drive. This is a picture of sunset right after the wedding.

Did I Lose a post?

Home from the honeymoon and not very happy to be here. While real life may be great, it isn't even close to the wonderful time we had for the last week!

Sadly, I thought I posted last night after our return, but I can find no record of it. Maybe I was so tired I just commented on other blogs and then went to bed.

I am busily writing Thank you notes right now (well, not RIGHT now) and organizing the pictures that we have already recieved. I am hoping for several long posts in the near future about what went wrong (grrrr to the Tent Guy) and the wonderful parts that went right, including picutres.

Celebrating One Week of Wedded Bliss.

At Last...

Well, the wedding went off without a hitch. We didn't run out of anything (ok, the crab cakes went quickly, but there was plenty of food left) and we could not have asked for a better turn out or better weather (which was amazing since we had rain Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and today this week).

There were glitches, of course, but family and friends took care of everything without even being asked. This allowed me plenty of time to relax and make myself beautiful (or as close as possible) and we were only a few minutes late starting the bridal march. The entire thing was completely wonderful and I was only sorry that the day had to come to an end.

I am now almost too tired to type and we are leaving tomorrow for a fun-filled trip to Orlando (where DSD will drink beer and I will ride roller coasters). I have already received some of the photographs and will post some of them after I return, when I have time.

I have been married before, but it was different. I was younger (a lot) and had no clue about life. While DSD and I have been together for almost 7 years and living together for over 6, it feels different being married. Different in a good way. Different in a way that feels exactly right.

Thank you to everyone who sent their good wishes our way.

My 100th post, on vacation with One Week To Go

One hundred posts in seven months. Is that good? Is that bad? I read a lot of blogs and some of them post a lot more than that. I know that those bloggers are not more opinionated than I am, but they are obviously more productive. I am enjoying this blog. Of course, I thought that my blog would be picked up by everyone in the blogging world. I thought I would be on everyone's blog roll and would win awards. I did not realize how hard this would be. I certainly have a lot more respect for the blogs I read than I did before I started blogging myself. I hope that I am here to blog for a very long time.
****************************************************

I am on vacation for the next two weeks! Woo Hoo! I have not had a real vacation since March 2005 so this is wonderful. Since then I have taken 1-2 days off at the time, but that is all. I really hope I enjoy this time off.

******************************************************

One week from today I will be Mrs. DSD. We have planned this for over a year and things are going really well from a planning point of view, but there is still a lot to do. I don't know how much time I will have in the next week for blogging (none the week after, I will be honeymooning), but I will try to find a few minutes to either blog or comment on other blogs.

Thank you to those who comment here regularly. I appreciate you and the blogs you produce. I hope it is easier for you than it is for me.

One Month From Today...

I will become Mrs. DSD. The planning is going well, although not without a few of the hiccups that have to be expected. The food is planned, the tent is reserved and the booze is bought. The RSVPs are coming in, although not many in the last week. The deadline is not until 29 Sept, but shouldn't most people know if they are coming by now?



We have lost several guests to the Miami @ FSU game. Most of them I completely understand. One lady at work has season tickets and goes with her daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren to every game. Another friend does not miss a game. I have an uncle, however, who has not attended a game since 2004 or before and he has decided he MUST attend this one. I am not going to forgive him easily. Frankly, I could not care less if he is there or not, but he is married to my favorite aunt on my mom's side and she is blind. She really can not get herself there. Plus he convinced her that she should not come with my parents because she is just too much work. I think it is all going to work out, but he has caused a lot of heartache for her, me and my mom in the last month or so.

I mentioned a couple of months ago that I could not decide to change my name or not after the marriage. Now that I am grown I realize how ridiculous it is to expect a woman to change her name ever, but the fact that I did not take back my birth name at the time of my divorce has made me realize that I will feel bad if I don't change my name to DSD's. My son's big objection was those stupid forms that the kids come home with every year from the school to update information. He said, "I was always proud that even though you and dad were divorced, we all had the same last name. Mmmmm, thanks sweetie, but you are in college now. We don't have to fill those forms out anymore. He seems to be fine with it then. Silly boy.

DSD did not push. While he mentioned that he would be proud if I "left the darkside", he left the decision up to me. (It is the best way to deal with me ALWAYS, he is not a stupid man.) So I have decided to change my name. * I will be Mrs. DSD. Isn't that sweet?

*But if he goes first, I am taking back my birth name and never changing it again.